It's hard to believe it's been over two weeks since PAX East ended, and here I am just now writing about it. I feel like I've been in a bit of a "game coma" as it stands. Hell, my Xbox hasn't even been plugged in for over three weeks now! (I plugged it in last night, haven't switched it on though...not that you care)



Well now...PAX East. It. Was. Awesome. The real kicker is I barely did or saw half of what I had intended to. I borrowed one of the old man's iPads (yes, he has more than one, don't ask me why), and I downloaded an app called Guidebook. That proved to be a great idea, and it quickly became an indispensable tool. I probably had that bloody iPod in my hands more than in my bag for the entire weekend. It had maps of the conference center as well as the schedule for panels and events for each of the days. On top of that was the functionality to select an item to "My Schedule", letting me filter my itinerary down to a manageable level.

At least that was the plan. Didn't quite work out that way:
( My Schedule )

Time is really what it came down to for that weekend. Time spent in lines, or in panels that started (and subsequently ran) late. Time walking across the BC&EC, comprised of over half a million square feet of exhibition halls, meeting rooms, galleries, eateries, and hallways. They even have their own FedEx office in that behemoth.



What I did make it to? It ranged from interesting and moderately entertaining to simply impressive and commendable. The panel on Harassment in Online Gaming was one such panel, as was the one on Props Making. The Evening with Loading Ready Run, uh, Panel-thing...fantastic and hilarious. And I thoroughly enjoyed both of the tournaments I attended (lucky me, they were both Xbox games that I had a solid history with).



I spent a good deal of time in both the Classic Console room, AND the American Classic Arcade Museum room(seriously, it was a scene right out of an 80's flick in there).



I'm probably most disappointed about missing out on the Dragonlance and the Dealing with Depression as a Gamer (go figure) panels the most. Coincidentally, they both were scheduled at the same time, and I was in the middle of switching hotels that morning. No joy.

I could (and have) talk (and write) about this experience for hours (and pages), but I'll leave with this:

Going to PAX East in Boston was a unique experience. I haven't ever been in a place where I found myself surrounded, literally surrounded, by tens of thousands of people with so many of the same interests, passions, and joys. I've been to comic conventions, but this was entirely different. I have loved games my entire life, and will continue to be a gamer until the day I die. I met people I've never talked to before, played my first (and probably last) MMO, wandered a city I hadn't traveled to yet, and even got to say "hi" to Felicia Day as I passed her in the hallway. There's nothing about that trip that I won't remember with affection. And I'll be back next year ready to do it all again.



Even if I have to fly there under my own power.

TTFN

-Dav-

[More pictures from my trip to Boston can be found here.]

"I must say I grow weary of these monkeyshines." I was genuinely surprised (after the ad campaigns) that "Inglourious Basterds" didn't feature more of Brad Pitt in it. Then again, I should have known better and expected the more ensemble type flick. Short answer: I liked it. The longer answer involves how awesome Michael Fassbender is, and everything I loved about that scene in the Tavern. Maybe next time.

I hate that feeling I get sometimes. The one where I stumble about oblivious until I suddenly realize that the music has stopped, and I'm the only one without a chair.

I tried my hand at being a drunk and borderline alcoholic for a couple of weeks recently, but it didn't take. Whether that's a positive or not remains to be seen.

"Make something of yourself" is such a loaded phrase. If I haven't already made something than what am I expected to make now? And if I had...then why didn't anyone notice it?

This time next week I'll be landed in Boston, checking into my hotel, and eager to attend my first major convention in over a decade. This will also be the first one I cosplay at. For some reason, that makes me far more anxious than simple theater ever did. The big deal comes in August, though, with that other con down in Atlanta. Plus with that one? Road trip!

What's in the interim? One birthday, a graduation, a few "events", and a show that I just happen to be cast in:

• First we have the Hero Rush in April.


• Then I'll be walking to receive my degree in May. FINALLY. I'm also waiting to hear back if I'll be a commencement speaker for the occasion.


• Also in May, I'm participating in the Warrior Dash (with my participation "sponsored" by my employer).


• Somewhere between those previous two bullets I turn 33. Eh.


• Opening June 1st is "Fuddy Meers", the show I'm currently rehearsing for Hard Bargain. More information here. This is basically the first show I've been in since "Angel Street" (almost 3 years ago), so it's kind of a big deal. Plus, it should be a lot of fun, with a great cast, all of which are friends of mine (I think that's a first for me).

Short update after a long pause, but most of things on my mind right now are...not for public consumption. Take that how you will.

Maybe next time I'll talk about video games or something. Who knows?

TTFN

-Dav-

"It's more comfortable for you to label me as insane." There was a period where "Seven" creeped the hell out of me because of the various, violent ways John Doe's "work" was completed. As I've gotten older and more familiar with the structure of this world, the idea of facing a "John Doe" doesn't scare me. But the idea of becoming a "Detective David Mills" does.

How do we let go of something that holds onto us so tightly? I don't think I'll ever know the answer to that question. More often than not, I'm the one that gets let go. What an interesting and versatile phrase that is: "let go". We often apply it in terms of employment. When one is "let go", they are fired or laid off. They find their routine and structure shaken to its core. It also can apply to the realm of relationships, of course. I mean, can't we say we were "fired" as a significant other or a lover? Certainly.

Do both uses have the same sting or stigma to them? A little, yes. We find ourselves questioning what we did wrong or could have done better/different/faster/more. We doubt ourselves, which is a pretty terrible thing to do. After all, who do we have to rely on except ourselves? If we can't trust our own heart, then what's left?

Maybe we find ways to better ourselves. Who can say if this is motivated out of a genuine desire and drive for improvement or simply to make ourselves more attractive in the next go-round? Certainly not me. I wish I could say all my motivations are altruistic, but I am, after all, only human. That's the rumor at least.

Still I keep turning in circles...pacing, spinning. Chasing my own tail, trying to bite it, trying to catch it. I don't even know which way is forward some days. But I keep on going.

I keep walking. Keep. I keep, but what keeps me?

...you come in waves, we crash and we roar, you surround me, pull me, drown me, then swallow me whole...you turn turn turn, turning me on, like a slow fire burn, I know that it's wrong, still I run run run, run right into you...

...I'm amazing, when you're beside me...
I am so much more...

Maybe things will make sense someday.

TTFN

-Dav-

"What's true in our minds is true, whether some people know it or not." I put together my "top five" list of movies when I was a much younger man...but I can't say it's really changed in all those years. They are all movies that had a profound, emotional impact on me. In many ways, "What Dreams May Come" hit me hardest. I've never been a husband, or a father (or dead), but something about Chris (Robin Williams) speaks to a part of me I rarely tap into. Even if I wish I spent more time there.

"Tomorrow, I bury my friend."

Pardon me if this is a little disjointed. I could blame the lack of sleep (as always), or the early (for me) hour, but that's not all there is to it.

"He always did for other people. There aren't enough people in the world like him."

I internalize a lot. Too much, most of the time. I often find myself internalizing other people's concerns, worries, and pain as well.

"They were always doing something. His daughters followed him everywhere. They loved him."

I listen, and I share what I think might help. Words, embraces, tissues, time...anything I have to offer. It never feels like enough.

"I'm cleaning her house tonight. I can't take her pain away, but I can help with this."

But then again, sometimes it feels like too much. Like I'm too much. I never know when I cross that line, but I always seem to do it.

*****

I sat with a friend last night while they told me about someone they loved. Someone that had recently died. Someone that they considered family, despite no blood relations between them. I have always believed in this, that family is not just what you are born into, but what you build with the people around you. The ones you give your love to, who love you in return.

She told me stories from their times together. She told me about his family. She told me about her family. About her ex-husband, and her current husband...about her kids...about their relationships...about other people she's lost...whatever came to her mind. In the background, there were auditions for a local show going on. A couple dozen people (kids, mostly) singing, and hoping for a shot to be on the stage there. The juxtaposition was pointed, but touching as well.

She also said to me that she was going to speak the next day at this friend's funeral, but she didn't know what to say. As she told me story after story about him, about the things he did for other people, and about the man he was, I told her simply, "You should say what you just said to me. The way a person lives forever is in the memories and hearts of the people who loved them." I sort of paraphrased "The Crow" there, but the sentiment was all mine.

I wonder about my place in the world of others so much sometimes, that occasionally I misplace myself. Will I be remembered as someone who made a difference, or was just differently made? And why should I care? In my finer moments, all that matters is that I can help someone. And I've had a lot of those moments in my life. I've never called myself a "good" person, because I don't believe that's a judgement I can make about myself. I'm just a person who hopes someone has kind things to say at his funeral someday.

Let me know that you hear me,
Let me know your touch,
Let me know that you love me,
Let that be enough

This is the part where I'd sum things up, but I have nothing more to say. *shakes magic 8-ball* ...try again later.

TTFN

-Dav-

"The future isn't what it used to be." This one is from another recommendation from a friend. It's a movie called "Happy Accidents" with Marisa Tomei and Vincent D'Onofrio. A movie about love and crazy and how they often go together perfectly.

How about a quick "year-in-review"? I've never really done one of these before, so please bear with me. This shouldn't hurt too much.

January
The year started off with "Assassins" opening in late January at PTP. I was in the ensemble for it. I don't do musicals, so this was more of an "experiment" than anything else. One in which I was attempting to see if I still felt the way I used to about the theater. The answer was "no". But I did reconnect with a former friend, which was something that had been on my mind for the latter half of 2010. Not a total loss.

February
My year continued with my jumping right back into my duties as a WATCH judge. I've had rumblings on the occasion that I wouldn't stay with it "next year", but as I've got an assignment THIS coming Friday, I obviously never followed through. DK turned 7 that month, and I have a cryptic entry on my calendar about "Medieval Times" on the 20th, but I can't recall for what... Damn shoddy memory.

March
My year started to get a bit busy here. Or, at least, I started using my Google Calendar with a lot more regularity. Went to see "The Last Five Years" at Kensington Arts Theatre. First time I ever saw it live and one of the rare shows I've seen that wasn't an assignment or had someone I knew in it. It was also a show I had auditioned for back in '10. While I never expected to get a part (and driving to Kensington for rehearsals would have been hell), I felt like I did a solid audition. I used "Jack's Lament" from "A Nightmare Before Christmas" if anyone cares.

I also continued volunteering on occasion, such as running sound for "Shadowlands" at PTP.

In addition, I spent more time with the [aforementioned] former (then reacquainted) friend, including joining her on a very personal, annual visit and taking her on a jaunt into DC, down M Street. She wanted to go to DC Cupcakes, but the entire population of Georgetown had decided that they also needed a cupcake that morning. Or wanted to be on a TLC reality show. Or both. Later that same day was a trip to Blue Dog for a birthday celebration and karaoke.

April
...unfortunately, I went right back to not updating my calendar with anything besides the occasional birthday notification. But then, April wasn't that busy, I believe. I was still adjusting to the new house mates then. ...did I mention I had new house mates? They moved in sometime during February I think? Diana and her husband found that I offered a better deal in rent than Holly Station did. And I needed the assistance in covering expenses. Win-win.

May
I actually auditioned for a show again this month. "Fat Pig" down at Hard Bargain Players. Every year I say "I'm not going to HBP again!" and every year I end up back there doing something. I wound up getting the part (it didn't hurt that only about 4 guys auditioned for 2 male roles), and actually really enjoyed it. It was not a happy show, obviously (have you been to Hard Bargain?), but it was good show, and a good role. It was also my first real time on stage since "Angel Street", almost 2 years prior. It felt right, honestly.

I also may have had a birthday in there, but, eh.

June
June had 2 very awesome (and quite different) events in it. The first one was my buddy Gymp's wedding (my friend Gary from high school, but he'll always be "Gymp" to me). He married my sister's husband's sister. I guess you could call her my "sister-in-law" to save time, but either way, it put Gymp into my extended family, and I'm happy to have him. Once upon a time, long before this LJ ever existed, there was a townhouse, on Drake Court, and there in it lived 3 dudes: Shultz, Gymp, and I. He's someone I've known for a long time, who I never get tired of seeing, and who I trust completely. Plus he put me in his wedding. In Chuck Taylor's! How wild is that?

The second event was called Can't Stop the Serenity, held at the Arlington Cinema and Draft House. I brought three friends with me who were as equally enamored of Joss Whedon's creations as I am. It started with a complete showing of "Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog". Now, I've seen it several times. I know all the music, have it downloaded to my collection, even have the piano sheets for it, and a karaoke disc, if I should ever need it. But...I've NEVER seen it on a movie screen...with hundreds of other geeks...who were all drinking...and singing along to it as well. It was almost transcendent.

Other highlights:

• Super awesome geek musician chick, Marian Call performed as well. Excellent stuff by her.


• An adorable child dressed as Jayne with a big plastic nerf gun OWNED the costume contest when he walked up to the microphone and said "Let's be bad guys". No one else had a chance.


• I actually won a door prize! That was wicked! Everyone that came in got these little gift bags, and I opened mine to find a little purple dinosaur. No one else had one and they were going on about "that must mean something", and I said "Nah...they must be short on dinosaurs". Who knew?


• They then aired "Serenity", but I was so exhausted by then from 3 pitchers of beer that I ended up napping through half of it. I'm such an old man sometimes.

July
Why do the summer's get so hot?? Rhetorical, moving on. Early in July, the same friends that came with me to the "Serenity" event in June, had a house warming party for the new home they'd moved into. Made me start to itch even more to have a place I could actually call mine. Renting sucks. I mean, I really like the place I'm living in, but I think about how I'm not really invested in anything and I don't have an actual foundation. Odd thoughts for an Army Brat, but we all grow up sometime.

Ennui aside, this month also found me going on the annual "Mead Family Vacation" (or whatever it's called). This year saw a change in scenery from the Delaware lake house to a really nice place up in the Catskills. Saugerties, New York, to be exact. I've never heard of it either. I took the train up, and spent several days not worrying about much of anything besides when dinner was, and what games we would be playing that night. My cousin, his fiance, and I even went on a zipline tour that was fantastic. Nothing like jumping off a perfectly good mountain with only a few-inches-thick cable keeping you from a long drop.

Finally, house mates moved out this month, as they were moving on to bigger and better things, and they were getting ready to have their first child, so more space was needed. I figured I'd find someone else to help me out soon enough...

August
Wow. Just...wow. This month was a kick in ribs, and I actually mean that in a good way. Did you hear about that earthquake we had? Yes, yes...it wasn't much to those West Coast folks. Whatever. I lived in California for over a year (or was it 2?) and never had so much as a tremor that I can recall...it was on a random weekday in the heart of Southern Maryland that I find myself in a little room at work, with vibrating walls. Some folks in the area got it worse than we did, for certain. The empty Gatorade bottle on my desk never even fell over. Cut to a week later...

...and we have Hurricane Irene. I've never experienced anything more than the periphery of a hurricane, which is more than enough for me on a personal basis. On the professional front? The Friday before landfall (projected for the next day) was all-hands-on-deck. I (as usual) volunteered for the first overnight shift. Let me tell you...that was a crazy night. During the "Snowmageddon" in '10 I spent most of my shifts playing Xbox, or watching movies...not so that first night. Our coverage area consists of almost 150,000 connected customers. By a little after midnight on Saturday, we had over 108,000 reported outages. Nearly 3/4's of the customer's we supplied power to were in the dark. It took over 6 days to restore everyone, and it was a truly Herculean effort on behalf of the crews that did that work.

Meanwhile, the search for house mates continued...

September
The restoration efforts from Irene flowed into the first part of Labor Day weekend...but that didn't stop me from going with several friends to FunLand in Fredericksburg. Go-Karts, Bumper Boats, Mini-Golf, Laser Tag, Climbing Wall, Bumper Cars, Air Hockey...There is a part of me that will ALWAYS be a kid, and I am not ashamed of that in any way. That was a fun day.

Outside of going to court in Calvert County for a speeding ticket I got over the summer, and attending a class (actually in a class room) not much else happened in September. Well, I did get to tour a haunted house attraction up by College Park called "Goatman's Hollow" as "research" for a "show" I'd "agreed" to do "special effects" for. Yes, the quotes are entirely necessary. It was pretty rad seeing the whole affair coming together, and getting a personalized tour. Cheesy as it was, they did some creative things, and I liked the touches of plot they put into the entire thing.

I also interviewed a potential room mate near the end of the month...

October
If August was a kick to the ribs...October was a kick in the ass. It showed me some of my physical limitations, and made me that much more determined to overcome them. Specifically, I'm talking about that one day when I was running from zombies. I finished with an amazingly bad time of almost 58 minutes...I walked for MOST of the "run"...I lost all my health flags before the 5th obstacle (of 12)...and I spent most of that time thinking "I can do better than this". And I will. Next year, when I run it again. Just watch. Or better yet, run with me. Try and keep up, or you're bait. I'm just saying.

I also got to attend my first out of state conference for work in October (the one last year was in DC, that hardly counts). 4 days and 3 nights in lovely Austin, TX, staying at the Four Seasons. It was good networking, good exposure to what the vendor I work with offers, and a pretty good trip overall. Next time, I'll do it without connecting flights though.

Later on, I heard back from the potential house mate that they'd found something else, but thanks anyway...time to start over...

November
Happy Thanksgiving! November was a busy month as well. Spent most of it in rehearsals for the blasted Christmas show at PTP. ...did I forget to mention that too? Yep, back in September '11, the director of "A Christmas Carol" (the show I'd been asked to do special effects for) emailed me to ask if I would take a small role in the actual production. The person who he'd originally cast was to be moving out of state, and was no longer available. I grudgingly agreed to do it (because I'm clearly a sucker). I made a few new friends in the course of that show, and I know that I won't forget them or how big of an impact they've had on my life as of late.

I'm sure I'll say more about them at a later date. Someday. For now, I'll just say "olive", and leave it at that.

In the middle of all that show business, I got a text from a friend that I'd approached about taking the other room...asking if I was still looking for house mates!

December
The show continued on at a pace, only 4 weekends and 3 Wednesdays at it would be over. But it kept me occupied, and it became, surprisingly, something I looked forward to every time I went.

The house mate discussions moved forward, and things began to take a more focused shape.

Several holiday parties were attended, not the least of which was an annual Christmas party some friends held that I popped over to after the second Saturday show in our run. It was a good night. Words were said that I will always treasure, friends were enjoyed, and drinks were shared...it was a night I wish I could freeze in time, in some ways. But then, I wouldn't be able to experience more incredible evenings to come. The future beckons, after all.

That was also the night I got roped into helping with "Cabaret", the show that opens later this month. Like I said, sucker.

Christmas came and went, New Years close on it's heels. I ate, I gamed, I slept, I talked, I learned.

2012
What's to come next? I prefer to find out rather than be told the answers. For myself, I'm going to keep training and working to better outrun zombies in October...I'll finish my last class (FINALLY!) this March...keep moving towards finding the house that fits me (and the mortgage to match)...take a short trip to Boston in April (more on that soon)...who knows? Maybe even get back into this whole theater thing, too.

The future is now.

TTFN

-Dav-

"No one is going to call you Mayhem if you keep acting like such a pussy!" The IMDB description for "Attack the Block" reads: "A teen gang in South London defend their block from an alien invasion." I can't say the movie is a "you have to see this!", but I did really like it. John Boyega (who can't be more that 16 or 17) did an incredible job, delivering more character in his subdued facial expressions than actors twice his age attempt to do in pages of dialog.

I left my heart in these lyrics:


One part of me just wants to tell you everything
One part just needs the quiet
And if I'm lonely here, I'm lonely here
And on the telephone
You offer reassurance

I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things...

How can I hold the part of me that only you can carry
It needs a strength I haven't found
But if it's frightening, I'll bear the cold
And on the telephone, you offer warm asylum

I'm listening
To flowers in the garden
Laughter in the hall
Children in the park

I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things...anymore

To crawl inside the wire and feel something near me
To feel this accepting
That it is lonely here, but not alone
And on the telephone, you offer visions dancing

I'm listening
To music in the bedroom
Laughter in the hall
Dive into the ocean
Singing by the fire
Running through the forest
And standing in the wind
In rolling canyons

I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things for granted
I will not take these things...anymore


"I Will Not Take These Things for Granted" by Toad the Wet Sprocket

As I read back through my old posts (which, I shamefully admit, I've done far too much of recently), I felt like I was spending time with an old friend. Someone that I used to see all the time, but never really got to know. Ah, the joys of a shoddy memory.

Or was it something else? Perhaps, there was too much distance between us, both temporally and emotionally. Or perhaps I've just grown and changed so very much since those days (I was looking at 2004-2005, in case you were curious). It was a time in my life when I was going through some significant developments. I was finding hair in places I never knew existed, figuratively speaking.

Terrible analogies aside, it was a period in my life when I was so utterly dissatisfied with everything. Who I was, what I was doing, where my life was headed (or not headed, more accurately). There was so much good at the time that I just didn't appreciate as much as I should have. DK was born, I was fired (good thing, trust me) from DirectBuy (see?), and I started working at SMECO, I jumped into the theater with both feet first, I was meeting all sorts of new and interesting people (and starting doomed relationships with a few of them). Hindsight...you know how that one goes.

Among all that, I found the time to keep posting to this page and updating it with (relative) regularity. I found I had something to say, and I also found the courage to share it. Am I that different now? I certainly am not lacking for things to say, and I have as much time as I'd like to write about it. What else could I be...? Ah...courage. [But it was inside you all along, cowardly lion]

I don't believe I'm lacking in courage, rather I think I need a boost of conviction. What does that mean, exactly? Inspiration, confidence, hope...elements of myself I've been somewhat remiss in my support of. I definitely haven't changed in that department.

As a mild point of irony, I found myself much more willing to "bare my soul" several years ago when I knew of at least a dozen people that read this page with regularity. Now that it is hardly visited by anyone, I find it harder to open up through these words. I guess we all need an audience sometimes.

Going forward (which is a phrase I use far too often at work) I intend to put myself back into this page and these words. Consider me inspired and confident and hopeful. More changes are coming this year, I expect, and I want to be able to look back here 7 or 8 years from now and read back through how I felt about them, and what lessons I took away from them.

Only so I can laugh at what a complete tosser I was, if for no other reason.

TTFN

-Dav-

"This...is a chemical burn." I can't recall if I've ever used "Fight Club" before, but I feel like I must have. So, yeah. "Fight Club". Woo.

Just a quick note, since I'm a little tipsy from the 5 or so beers I've had (I still have 7 more baiting me on), but I stumbled on a new obsession via YouTube (funny how that happens).

It's called Kinetic Typography. And it is AWESOME.

Sample:


Do you see? Do you SEE? (That's a reference to "Event Horizon" if anyone knows that movie...or cares...)

These are just...I mean the words kind of...and then with the imagery...also movie quotes mostly...

Gah! I am lacking in talent, I have decided, as these are the kinds of things I would do if I had any.

This is one I was first linked to, and it is so befitting the beauty inherent in these creations:


I might be late to the party, but that doesn't mean I don't have a good time anyway. ...double negative, deal with it.

TTFN

-Dav-

"Being here with you reminds me of what I was like before my suicide." I was recommended a movie called "Wristcutters: A Love Story". I was warned it was morbid. I laughed and said, "Do you realize that 2 of my favorite movies start with the death of the main character?" Bizarre movie, but definitely worth a watch. If you like ANYTHING by Terry Gilliam, you'll enjoy it, I promise.

I remember a day, not long ago, when I had this site as one of my home pages. I'd open my FireFox, and it would pop up...alongside MySpace, of course. So...maybe it WAS pretty long ago. I mean, I use Chrome now. FireFox is so...2008.

A [new] year later, and what have I learned?:

• Finish what you start. By this I mean...I'm STILL working on my degree. The one I should have had completed LAST January. If I put half the effort into my courses as I do bitching about them, I would... Did I just use a "parent" line on myself??


• Be honest about EVERYTHING. I've always lived my life by this (except maybe if [when] I get pulled over), but it's important enough to be reiterated. Always.


• I've missed a LOT of good movies. I should go out to them more. With or without a date. I think this one is more due to my WATCH assignments driving my interest into visiting Virginia into the ground. Then again, I just hate that state. So. Much.


• Expect the unexpected. Wow. I could go about this one for pages. Suffice it to say, I never know what's going to happen tomorrow, and I should stop worrying so much about it.

That last one reminds me of a quote from an episode of "Scrubs" I watched today:

"Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure where you're going, and just enjoy where you're at."

I spend so much time thinking about where I want to be next month, or next year. Or about all my little plans for what's to come. What good does it do, really? I'm not saying I shouldn't dream, and prepare...but I need to live here, and now. I need to enjoy myself and my life before it's gone. Before I miss everything and everyone in it.



"But sometimes, the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all."

TTFN

-Dav-

"Would you kindly...?" If you actually read my previous post the entire way through then you MUST have an interest in video game legislation, and if you have an interest in video game legislation, then you likely know exactly which game that's from. If you don't know it...go play "Bioshock". Right now. One of the greatest games of all time. As a side note, thank you Justice Scalia (and the other Justices) for voting down that ridiculous law.

What follows is about the most political I'll ever get. Not too entertaining, and pretty long-winded, but informative and important (to me, at least).

( Take it or leave it, but please read and/or pass on. )

Thank you and TTFN

-Dav-

"I thought he was going to shoot me with a tranquilizer gun and tag my ear." I'm not sure what prompted me to quote "Shallow Hal" for my last post. Maybe I was just running out of movies. I've watched a couple since then, so I'll have some better choices for next time. Not that it was a bad movie by any means...but the Farrelly Brothers' movies are not for everyone.

I'm going to preface this with the note that I don't really feel like I have much to say right now, but since I started picking this back up, I want to get back on with the habit again. Writing here...there...then...now...anything. Writing to write. Just putting words down in a somewhat desirable sequence. I'm starting to get my taste back for it.

That being said...I failed this summer. That statement holds true on many fronts and from many perspectives. I failed in my relationships (a few notable ones, at least). I failed in my continued education (2 out of 2 classes "incompleted", it's like I'm a sophomore at Towson again). I failed in taking better care of my own emotions. That last one is tied to that first one, but then I already wrote a post about that.

But failure is often the greatest learning tool we have. If we try something and it doesn't work, then we know (or at least SHOULD realize) not to try that again.

So, I'm retaking one of the classes starting next week, and I'll be squeezing in a short session from November to January of two more classes to make up the difference. That way I can still complete my degree as originally scheduled. Target date for that is still May, 2011.

As for the other part...I'm making steps towards being more upfront about how I feel. Stubborn though I may be, I'd like to STOP swallowing my feelings for "the betterment of others".

But who knows how much work THAT'LL take. So...no target date there.

As for my grandmother, the last word from my father was that she was rallying (in case there IS anyone who reads this and was curious). But, it's still Stage 3, which means there's not much I can do but wait and hope.

I despise feeling weak and helpless more than anything else. You could say I feel the same way about vulnerability in myself. Which is how I wound up where I am today, looking back on the last several months.

But I'm learning. I can't really ask for more than that.

TTFN

-Dav-

"Could someone who is not a misogynist pass the Splenda?" I'm not ashamed to admit that I enjoyed "Made of Honor". Patrick Dempsey is pretty solid as the Lothario and Michelle Monaghan is just fun to look at. I mean watch...I totally meant watch. With the acting and whatnot. *drools*